Admitting is the First Step to Recovery, While Transparency is What gets Us Through

Via my current college experience I have gone through a plethora of things so far. My school work is on point and i am truly grateful for what God is allowing me to go through, but I must admit temptation is heavy, being in a foreign land and away from home I am suppose to be starting new and straying away from my past decisions, but since I've been here I feel my flesh slowly overwhelming my morals in a particular area. Yes I still go to church every Sunday and I listen to my Pandora everyday but there's still a vacant spot inside of me. Feeling lonely and thinking you need someone to sustain a sense of happiness is no good and in the eyes of others would be considered pathetic, but what do you do when its you? Lately I've been feeding into this feeling of being wanted and have been contacting everyone I've declared that i was over, which maybe true but at this point and time I am truly doing what ever I can to fulfill that feeling of acceptance. Just in these three weeks of being here I have encountered two males who's tried to get over on me, not anything sexual but just mind games but even through that; sometimes I still have an urge to talk to them just because I know that they will reply. But should i settle? Of course not, but not breaking is very hard especially when your support system is almost 900 miles away. Acting off of my emotions I have contacted two of my exes and even went as far as leaving a voice mail on one of my ex friends phone, and he didn't even reply. My feelings are hurt but I've put myself in this predicament, not having the will power to just tell myself no. But even through all of that I believe everything happens for a reason and this is something that I have to go through and overcome in order to be an example and speak through experience instead of inferring and using my analytical skills to manipulate people to believe those are really my experiences. In this state of being wanted: I keep putting myself out there and saying things I wouldn't normally in a secure relationship. For example "You're cute or Here's my number" just making myself available even though I know that that is not the light I want to be seen in. I haven't been completely outrageous speaking to every boy that i see but I've still done it. Realizing this is not who I am. I know that I can only learn through trial and error, adapting to changes and re-evaluating my morals; this is a stepping stone to a newer me and being comfortable with myself by myself. Flourishing in other areas, being wanted is truly "The Struggle of This Teenage Saint." God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Freshmeat Females in College

Being a Freshmen in college is a very difficult task; dealing with being away from your friends and families and the norms of life, balancing your social, academic, personal, and spiritual life can be very overwhelming. Every girl wants that one guy to be their prince charming and to sweep them off their feet but that may not be ordained for freshmen year,its really about learning the ropes. Here are some tips to sustain a healthy college experience especially to frehsmen ladies.1. Do not show a guy especially an upperclassmen that you are interested in him first.-If you guys exchange #'s always leave the ball in court, meaning if he doesn't write you within the first four days of him having your number he isn't interested. Never allow him to feel that your feelings for him are greater than anything else.2. Be very careful of who you give your # too.-I gave this boy my number about two weeks ago (he was not a student of CAU)I texted him and he replied and asked me for $70 to pay his phone bill. I was shocked that i just met him and he was so bold to even ask me that. Guys will try to sweet talk you but you have to stand your ground.3. Always establish your boundaries and standards at the beginning of any relationship.-As a young female you should already know what it is that you like and don't like. Never be afraid to speak your mind and express your feelings at first, but don't allow it to be a plea or give him any room to try and strategize.4. Be very discrete.-As ladies we have an image to uphold and have been basically thrown into two categories. Either really classy, sophisticated and smart or fresh and easy. We have the power to choose what light we want to be viewed in, remember someone is always watching you and you don't want anyone to take advantage of you because of who they think you are.5. Be careful of overly aggressive guys.-Play fighting is NOT attractive, everyone should keep their hands to themselves. Do not antagonize him to hit you, but also let him know hitting is not an option.As an entering freshmen i have observed and picked up a lot of tactics of the males on campus. I am aware that the ratio of males to females is slime to none but dating is not a competition; it can be the catalyst of a long lasting relationship,friendship, or bond and the beginning of memories, none of which should be regretted. Be patient and remember if a male can not except you for you, than he is not the one for you. Proverbs 18:22- He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord

The Essence of my Blog

Some people have a lot to say but are horrible at grasping the words to express how they are feeling. My purpose for this blog is essentially to allow my readers to experience my experiences, to see what I've seen, to imagine my thoughts and just be apart of my life. Also to share their own opinions with me on everyday social issues teenagers; male and female are facing. Issues such as self-esteem, body image and peer pressure. I want to provide my views on how to LIVE ABOVE THE INFLUENCE and be who you want to be and not anything that you have conformed too. My thoughts and inquiries are to stimulate and galvanize the minds of my peers and to inspire them to take advantage of their liberty in the most positive way as possible. My name is BrandonCamille and I have a story to tell.